Yuri isn't sure he understands, which probably makes it make even less sense that he nods. He can't put it together from the beginning. He can only see it from the end. He's not sure at all how those are even supposed to be conciliatory things as one. How something that made Victor happy dominoes to him feeling like ... this. To Victor's sentences breaking off and restarting several times, and the way he almost wants to say the first wrong words that come up.
Was it worth it? Are you still happy?
Except that's the wrong side of his head. That's the worst voice in his head.
His eyes clench for a second.
He knows the answer and even, sitting here in the dim morning with Victor, he knows it and he doesn't want the answer to be what it is. That Victor is confused. That Victor didn't think about it. That Victor didn't understand. That Victor is absolutely nowhere near happy, even if he'd probably still be happy, if Yuri just didn't open his mouth, just didn't have problems with everything under the sun.
That saying this now. Poked and prodded until it found words, that somehow took purchase somewhere, and Victor even seemed to get a glimmer of it, while his defense of only meaning well, which Yuri doesn't really think is wrong, gets weaker, softer. Didn't make it better.
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Date: 2017-05-17 03:10 am (UTC)Was it worth it? Are you still happy?
Except that's the wrong side of his head.
That's the worst voice in his head.
His eyes clench for a second.
He knows the answer and even, sitting here in the dim morning with Victor, he knows it and he doesn't want the answer to be what it is. That Victor is confused. That Victor didn't think about it. That Victor didn't understand. That Victor is absolutely nowhere near happy, even if he'd probably still be happy, if Yuri just didn't open his mouth, just didn't have problems with everything under the sun.
That saying this now. Poked and prodded until it found words, that somehow took purchase somewhere, and Victor even seemed to get a glimmer of it, while his defense of only meaning well, which Yuri doesn't really think is wrong, gets weaker, softer. Didn't make it better.