No, Yuri says, and it takes a second before the impact of that single word fully registers. No, this hasn't changed. No, this part doesn't feel different.
So Yuri's felt like this ... here, in the center of himself ... for how long?
Since the start? Victor's not sure he believes that, entirely, given what did and didn't happen over that first year and a half, or even when he first came to Hasetsu. Yuri hadn't looked like his heart was giving him any trouble then, except in the sense that it might have been dismayed by the amount of physical labor it suddenly had to do.
Even if there were some times when Victor caught him looking over, a strange and uncertain look on his face. Something that went along with I've always looked up to you and I didn't want you to see my shortcomings, but not this. Not the way Yuri was just pushed against him, or how he's settled on Victor now, or how his cheeks keep going pink but his eyes are shining, the way they sometimes do when he can't find the words but is filled with something, an idea he can't describe or wants to keep close to himself.
But he's saying it isn't different. This. And Victor's trying to understand, because Yuri is trying to tell him something. Answer that question that feels unimportant now, even if it felt so all-consuming only moments ago, and probably will again later, when Yuri isn't right here, physical proof that things have changed. "What does?"
If this isn't different. But he'd said something was, too.
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Date: 2017-04-25 11:55 am (UTC)So Yuri's felt like this ... here, in the center of himself ... for how long?
Since the start? Victor's not sure he believes that, entirely, given what did and didn't happen over that first year and a half, or even when he first came to Hasetsu. Yuri hadn't looked like his heart was giving him any trouble then, except in the sense that it might have been dismayed by the amount of physical labor it suddenly had to do.
Even if there were some times when Victor caught him looking over, a strange and uncertain look on his face. Something that went along with I've always looked up to you and I didn't want you to see my shortcomings, but not this. Not the way Yuri was just pushed against him, or how he's settled on Victor now, or how his cheeks keep going pink but his eyes are shining, the way they sometimes do when he can't find the words but is filled with something, an idea he can't describe or wants to keep close to himself.
But he's saying it isn't different. This. And Victor's trying to understand, because Yuri is trying to tell him something. Answer that question that feels unimportant now, even if it felt so all-consuming only moments ago, and probably will again later, when Yuri isn't right here, physical proof that things have changed. "What does?"
If this isn't different. But he'd said something was, too.