It might still not be the right thing to say, he supposes. Even if Yuri asks for the truth, there's no guarantee that he'll want to hear it, as evidenced by how he's been flip-flopping all evening –– but Yuri asked for the truth, and there's no way Victor won't give him anything he asks for that's within Victor's power to give. Even if it's to back off, again, the way Yuri asked him to all those months ago.
The first response as confusing as the others. That Yuri would like to go see it, the outdoor rink Victor talked about, before, quickly, clarifying that he would like to go with Victor. Which is nice, but it's like that amused, innocent response he first gave ––
We skate together everyday
–– like there isn't some sort of distinction, although Victor supposes he should be happy that Yuri wants to do anything with him at all, considering how badly he keeps managing this, before there are those soft, but determined words, and Yuri's staring at his cup with a rising flush of pink on his cheeks that Victor doesn't understand.
Maybe he doesn't understand any of this. Why Yuri looked so startled, why it had been so unthinkable, why he'd resorted to rambling in Japanese in his surprise, if he wanted to, if he thought it would be nice, if, if, if. Leaving Victor uncertain for a second about whether or not he'd accidentally manipulated this, made Yuri agree out of some misplaced desire to make him feel better instead of saying what he really wants, but he doesn't think Yuri would lie to him. Not to save his feelings. Not on something important. "Really?"
One day, maybe he'll be able to halt the birth of giddy, stupid hope every time it blinks awake in his chest and head, but each time it does, it clears away all the cobwebs and rationale and all he can think of is how much he wants it to be true.
It makes him feel like a stumbling newborn calf, trying to butt its head into the right spots to find air and water and food, missing over and over again but continually hopeful he'll get it right eventually. "You're not just saying that, are you? You really want to go?"
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Date: 2017-04-20 01:46 pm (UTC)The first response as confusing as the others. That Yuri would like to go see it, the outdoor rink Victor talked about, before, quickly, clarifying that he would like to go with Victor. Which is nice, but it's like that amused, innocent response he first gave ––
We skate together everyday
–– like there isn't some sort of distinction, although Victor supposes he should be happy that Yuri wants to do anything with him at all, considering how badly he keeps managing this, before there are those soft, but determined words, and Yuri's staring at his cup with a rising flush of pink on his cheeks that Victor doesn't understand.
Maybe he doesn't understand any of this. Why Yuri looked so startled, why it had been so unthinkable, why he'd resorted to rambling in Japanese in his surprise, if he wanted to, if he thought it would be nice, if, if, if. Leaving Victor uncertain for a second about whether or not he'd accidentally manipulated this, made Yuri agree out of some misplaced desire to make him feel better instead of saying what he really wants, but he doesn't think Yuri would lie to him. Not to save his feelings. Not on something important. "Really?"
One day, maybe he'll be able to halt the birth of giddy, stupid hope every time it blinks awake in his chest and head, but each time it does, it clears away all the cobwebs and rationale and all he can think of is how much he wants it to be true.
It makes him feel like a stumbling newborn calf, trying to butt its head into the right spots to find air and water and food, missing over and over again but continually hopeful he'll get it right eventually. "You're not just saying that, are you? You really want to go?"