Yuri gives him a startled look, but he doesn't pull his hand away for being caught –– if that's what this is, and that's what it looks like, like Victor caught him sneaking some treat he's not supposed to be having. Instead, he looks back down, and carefully covers Victor's hand with his free one, cupping it between his palms and fingers like it's a baby bird. Something fragile and precious. Something as easily cracked as Victor's heart is, a bright aching line opening there like it tried to grow too fast all at once and the walls failed.
It's hard to swallow. This thing in his chest, how could he have ever thought it was love before? Before this. Before he really knew.
He'd somehow thought it would be a relief, back in those St. Petersburg days, to find Yuri and put all this out in the open. How could he have been so foolish? There's no relief here, only a swelling, expanding thing he can't control and can barely breathe or speak past.
(He can count the number of times Yuri's reached out for him on the fingers of both hands. It never happens.)
It's amazing how normal his voice sounds, when he finds it again, as his thumb strokes gently along the side of Yuri's. "What?"
There has to be some sort of end to that choked out, fumbled word.
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Date: 2017-07-27 11:10 pm (UTC)Yuri gives him a startled look, but he doesn't pull his hand away for being caught –– if that's what this is, and that's what it looks like, like Victor caught him sneaking some treat he's not supposed to be having. Instead, he looks back down, and carefully covers Victor's hand with his free one, cupping it between his palms and fingers like it's a baby bird. Something fragile and precious. Something as easily cracked as Victor's heart is, a bright aching line opening there like it tried to grow too fast all at once and the walls failed.
It's hard to swallow. This thing in his chest, how could he have ever thought it was love before? Before this. Before he really knew.
He'd somehow thought it would be a relief, back in those St. Petersburg days, to find Yuri and put all this out in the open. How could he have been so foolish? There's no relief here, only a swelling, expanding thing he can't control and can barely breathe or speak past.
(He can count the number of times Yuri's reached out for him on the fingers of both hands. It never happens.)
It's amazing how normal his voice sounds, when he finds it again, as his thumb strokes gently along the side of Yuri's. "What?"
There has to be some sort of end to that choked out, fumbled word.